This Weird Feeling in My Tummy
by fangirlsquared
Summary: Parody of your average g-boy-gets-pregnant fic, compelled with spilling fun, filling cliches and all that jazz. Entre with an open mind.


**Title:** This Weird Feeling in My Tummy 1/1

**Rating:** PG-13

**Genre:** parody.

**Warning:** yaoi implied, mpreg, extreme silliness.

**Further Warnings:** every mistake in this fic is made intentionally. In other words, WE KNOW IT'S THERE, CAUSE WE PUT IT THERE. Thank you. If that isn't the case, we probably meant to anyway.

This fic pokes fun at mpreg clichés. With that said, sit back and laugh.

xxXXXXXxx

Duo woke up feeling weird… his stomach was swollen lightly and had the weirdest craving for a tuna-pickle-peanut-butter sandwich. For some reason, even though the knight was dark, he could see perfectly. He past a mirror and noticed that he was glowing! Feeling something was amiss, he called Sally, who at the age of 19, was a certified psychiatrist and plastic surgeon and a cardiologist. Since she was correctly in the middle of reforming a brain surgery, the secretary put Duo on hold.

Fortunately, Sally left the dirty job to a handy internist and ran quickly to assist her Gundam-piloting friend. Setting up her equipment, Sally sat Duo in a chair, attaching his legs to stirrups, and started poking randomly.

"Saaallyyy," Duo whined. "My mussels are killing me!" Sally sat in between Duo's spread legs, wondering why seafood was trying to kill her patient, when she realised something.

"Duo, did you notice that you have a vagina?"

"Yeah, right. Next thing you'll tell me is that I'm pregnant and due next Tuesday."

"Of course not! What a silly idea!" Solemn pause. "You're due next **Monday**. Some when about lunch, I dear say."

"WHHAAATT!" Duo paused. Actually, once he thought about it, he had had his suspicions about Quatre and his rapidly progressing obesity earlier. Still… but then Sally was talking again.

"Your blood test conforms. And the urn test does as well," the good doctor sounded confused. "How did you manage to get pregnant anyway?"

"Who cares? I get to eat weird food, buy new clothes, have people compliment that I glow, though I am not a firefly, act all pricy and have sex until Heero drops. Who cares how I managed to get pregnant anyway?" Duo said shrugging, before reaching into his purse to take out a tissue, not really sure when he got a purse and how it got there with him. He started gnawing on a piece of chocolate.

"Now, a baby is a big step in a couple's life," Sally said extruding a leaflet from her bad. "You should consider…"

"Thank you Sally, I've been through 'Piloting 101'. I know how to red," Duo said snatching the leaflets from the doctor's hands. "Hey! These are all about women!"

"Well… male pregnancy isn't exactly the most common of cognitions. Which is why I brought you this!" Duo stared virally unblinking at the book the woman produced.

"'A Complete Guide to Sea Horses'. Thanks you Sally." Duo said solemnly. Suddenly he perched up. "Hee-chan! I have the weirdest urge to discard my pants and get something pink and frilly... QUATRE! Move your ass and share your wardrobe!"

Quatre shifts aside, cuddling up to Trowa, his face drenched in tears, his hand resting on his enlarged middle. "He's stealing my stuff," he sniffed dramatically.

"Don't worry, little one," Trowa said, though realising his 'little one' was actually kind of damn huge right now. "I won't let Duo steal your frilly tutu. I promise!" Meanwhile, Wufei enters the kitchen, a tissue pressed to his face. Close up reveals he is not bleeding, but sniffling.

"INJUSTICE! MAXWELL! YOU ATE THE PICKLES! I WANT MY MANLY PICKLE-AND-PEANUT-BUTTER-WITH-CHOCOLATE SANDWICH!" Treize rushes in to soothe his lover, conveniently forgetting that he is supposed to be dead.

Meanwhile Zechs and Noin, to Relena's 'and one, and two' chant, change the neon inscription over the house, from 'Gundam Pilots' Top Secret Hideout' to 'Gundam Maternity Ward - Enter at Own Risk'.

"Where are you going Zechs?" Noin asked when her husband headed into the 'safe house'.

"Erm... I'm a Gundam pilot, so..." Zechs rested his hand over his stomach, looking sheepish.

"WHAAT!"

"Don't worry, the baby is yours" Zechs assured, while Noin does an interesting impression of a fish.

"How did you manage to get pregnant anyway!"

"Well, it is a standard OZ recruiting procedure – I had this pouch implanted... and now they have a way of making my sperm into an egg and your egg into sperm. Don't you just love technology?

"So, you are marsupial?" Noin asked, tilting her head slightly to get a better look at the man's stomach, missing the confessed look in his eyes. A few seconds later the blonde man collapsed in teals.

"You're calling me naaames!" he wailed, for no apparent reason. Relena joined the other befuddled young woman in gaping stupidly into the newly named 'Gundam Maternity Ward'.

"I don't think my insurance covers this," the Queen said and whistled for her pink limo.

"They don't pay me nearly enough for this," Noin muttered and followed.

**THE END?**


End file.
